You know, like whatever.

According to a recent Marist Institute poll in New York, "whatever" tops the list of most annoying words in the English language. While I can see that it's very annoying, especially when your boyfriend/girlfriend uses it when you are fighting with him/her, it would definitely not top my list. I can't stand the "like" ers and the "you know" ers.

"Like, you know, I like had to go to the store and, you know, buy some like cereal and milk and like, you know, I forgot my money at home."

Those people I want to punch in the face. Do they not listen to themselves speak? Obviously not. When this happens in a class, usually it is a student doing this; I end up counting how many times they say those annoying words versus actually listening to what they are saying.

And other annoying sayings, like "it is what it is" and "at the end of the day," really don't bother me that much. It's only when a person beats the phrase to death do I get really irritated with them and the saying. It's kind of like in Office Space where the main character hates everyone and there is that red-headed woman who says "Looks like somebody has got the case of the Mondays!" That would make me want to scream because it's ridiculous and unnecessary.
Take a look at the main article http://maristpoll.marist.edu/107-whatever-takes-top-honors-as-most-annoying/

FINGER food

It's called "finger food" for a reason, that reason being you are supposed to use your fingers to eat it. Like chicken nuggets, pizza rolls, egg rolls, pigs in a blanket; all are meant for your grubby little paws to touch and lift to your pie whole.

Please don't insult the inventors of pizza rolls by eating them with a fork just so you don't have to touch them.

What are you scared of?

Dirty fingers? Wash them.

Germs? Too late, they are millions of germs on the plate you just put your food on.

And the only acceptable time to use a fork while eating french fries is when there are more toppings (and this does not include ketchup) than fries themselves. And what is the point in cutting a chicken nugget?! Is it too big to just take bites out of when it's whole? Don't answer that, because it's a rhetorical question. They are nuggets, therefore being smaller than normal chicken pieces. Having to adapt to societal norms, I can't cut all my steak at once without getting rude stares, same goes for my pancakes and waffles. So no one should be able to baby themselves so much that they can't pick up a french fry with their hand!

Fashion faux pas

I've already discussed my dislike for scrunchies, so I figured I'd further explain more "fashions" I dislike.

1.) Long shirts- By long shirts, I mean shirts that hit below the hips, anywhere below the hips, that double as a dress for some young ladies. Wearing a long tee shirt that barely covers your ass is not a dress and should not be worn as one. It is gross and makes me (and many other people) want to vomit. I do not want to nor should I ever have to know what is goin' on in your nether regions. It's not "hott." You're not cute. Everyone who told you otherwise was lying.

2.) Leggings paired with long shirts- As I've stated, a long shirt does not make it a dress. A dress hits, at the very highest, mid-thigh (and for these dresses I'm talking about women with legs like Sarah Jessica Parker or something) and then anywhere below that point. So when a young woman, or older woman, wears a long shirt and leggings, I pretty much want to stick a pencil in my eye to blind myself from the scene that they play out in front of me. Long shirts are stupid, for one, but then to put on some leggings to hug every curve, bump, dimple, ripple, and roll it's just wrong. Please, for goodness sake, stop it!

3.) There's no way to title this shortly, so everyone, big and small and everything in between, wear a shirt that fits you. There's no need to swim in a XXX-Large shirt if you wear a Large and there is no forgivable answer as to why a Large tries to fit into a Small. It's annoying if a person goes too big, but it's painful to see when a person squeezes into clothing because it used to fir them once upon a time. I used to be a size 7, do you see my fat ass trying to fit into a 7?! Hell, no! But because I don't look like a pig in a blanket, I actually look good in my clothes at my size.

4.) No mini skirts over 35- Who doesn't love a 50 year old who tries to dress younger? I love it when a woman my mother's age tries to dress like she's in her 20's but then fails miserably and actually looks as if a little kid got to dress themselves for the first day of preschool. OH! And I love, love, love when their skin is as classically tanned as my new leather tote bag and when their hair is so processed it looks like straw. Who doesn't think this is sexy? Crazy people, that's who.

I goes to collage

I hate when people walk into class late. I am not talking about those who are just coming in right on the dot, but those people who walk in about 10 minutes late. And these people don't usually do this only once, it's not as if it was a one time deal where there was car trouble or they slept through their alarm once, they do this at least once a week in that class.

What is that person doing to be late every day?

Why don't they wake up 10 minutes earlier or leave earlier than 2 minutes before the class is supposed to begin?

And why are these late people always the most unprepared of the bunch? My friend told me about a girl she used to have class with and this girl would walk into class at least 5 minutes late every single class. She would never have anything with her besides her cell phone. Was she planning on writing the notes for the class in her cell? And to make it even worse, this girl would wear a long sweater/shirt with leggings and boots...and that's all! She didn't even carry any keys.

Honestly, what is the point in going to class but have nothing to show for it? Why bother going? You would probably get more done if you just sat in your room, seeing as how you showed up to class as if you were magically brought there. At least you have notebooks and writing utensils in your room... I'd hope.

Bad drivers

Anyone who has ridden in a car with me while I'm driving knows I have a little bit of road rage. I'm not an asshole on the road or anything, I just yell at the other bad drivers. And there are a lot of bad drivers out there.

So, I would like to give a big internet middle finger to all of those people who:

- Don't use their turn signals
- Don't move to the left lane when other cars are pulling onto a highway

- Drive 57 mph in the left hand lane to pass the person driving 56 mph in the right hand lane

- Text and drive

- Ride a cars ass so close that you literally almost cause a horrible accident

- Ride their brakes for no reason whatsoever

- Stare at the people in the car they are passing

- Don't know how to take turns at a 4-way stop sign

- Honk their horns when a driver doesn't turn right on red (It's optional people!!)

- Take their time going through a green arrow, as if they are the only people who need to go through that light...

- Drive up in the down row of a parking lot, or vica versa

- Gun the engine and then slam on the brakes, then gun the engine and then slam on the brakes

- Drive 10 miles below the speed limit in a 25 mph area

- Are old enough that when they learned to drive, they were driving a Model T

- Gun it and pull out right in front of a car then drive 10 miles below the speed limit

That's all I can think of for right now, but feel free to add some. I can't wait until they make it mandatory to be retested for a driver's license every 5 years...

Verizon

Maybe I'm mad at Verizon for selling me the cheapest phone ever, maybe I'm upset that the sales people and customer service employees are dense as bricks and that it is impossible for them to comprehend any problem that you could be having, or maybe I'm just p-o'ed that I had to choose to pay $50 for a replacement piece of crap phone or $180 for a phone that won't fail at what it is supposed to be doing.

Whichever one of these is truer, I have no idea because they are all pretty equal. I don't understand how by using the buttons on the front of my phone will literally break those buttons completely. Why put buttons there is you know they will break?! I don't understand how opening my full key board phone will make the wires inside the hinges short circuit and make it impossible for the screen to work. Why should the phone open at all if you can't open it all the way?! Was this phone made to be looked at and not touched? My uncle's $10 tracphone has a longer life than my $150 one.

All I ask for is a phone to work, for people to not sell me (or anyone else) a piece of crap phone that will break if you touch the buttons and for me to be happy with my purchase.

Manners Matter

To quote Steffanie Tanner, "How rude!" I don't get why a person is unable, when walking through a door or set of doors, to use their hands or their mouths. Just earlier today I'm walking out of a building through a double set of doors and there was also someone coming into the building. So, being polite, I hold my door while still going forward and she just walked right on through, as if it were my job to hold the door for her or that I wasn't even there at all. So, I did what I always do in that circumstance, I yelled "you're welcome!" and stared her down. Honestly, I'm not your door woman, you have arms and hands, and even if you didn't want to use your probably useless extremities, you could have at least said "thank you!" Bitch.

Scrunchies

This post is dedicated to Alyssa-- Thank you for being my verbal punching bag.

WTF, scrunchies?!

Who invented the scrunchy? I really want to know, because I want to write them a strongly-worded letter about how bad of an idea they had when they invented the scrunchy. Its name is just a glamorized version of "hair tie," and mind you, that is the only time in the history of man and woman that the scrunchy and any form of the word "glamour" will be used in the same sentence.

It serves no purpose; definitely not a fashionable or resourceful one. No person has ever looked good in a scrunchy. Not even the hottest women imaginable (Angelina Jolie, Natalie Portman, Audry Hepburn...I promise, I'm straight) could pull off a scrunchy, so p-l-e-a-s-e do not think that you are magically capable of doing so. You aren't a unicorn, you are not magic. I bet even a unicorn would look like an ass if he tried to wear a scrunchy.

Go buy hair ties! Real ones; the ones that big girls wear.

Foamy soap

Besides cleaning your hands, isn't the point of washing your hands to make the soap all bubbly and foamy and that's when you are supposed to know that the soap is doing its job? So what is the point of already foamy soap? I'm pretty sure it's not because it's faster-working, super soap that magically cleans your hands as soon as it touches them. And I'm also pretty positive that when you rub the foamy soap on your hands and it basically disappears that it isn't doing much of anything productive. Are the soap companies trying to trick us? Are people really THAT lazy that they can't rub their hands together for 10 seconds to make soap foam for itself? Using foamy soap seems to be only a tiny step above those people who only run their hands under running water for a second, like that actually does anything other than wet your hands, you idiot. Honestly, what is the point!?

Night lights

Night lights suck and they are pretty pointless unless you are a 4 year old or unless you are trying to go to the bathroom at 4 AM and are blind because you don't eat enough carrots. There's no need for people over the age of 11- and I'm rounding WAY up here- to have a night light in the bed room. They aren't cute and I don't really care if they go with the decor. Get a picture of the night light and hang it on the wall if it's really that cute. Just grow up and get a bedside lamp or the clapper.

Stupid Baby Names

I hate it when people give their babies stupid names. I mean really, where-the-hell-did-that-name-come-from names. I hated back when I was younger watching Maury and Ricky Lake and there were these people on there who named their kids something awful like "Sky Rainbow." And even more recently I heard a story about a woman who had a baby and wanted to name her Syphilis because she saw it on her chart and thought it sounded "pretty."

I don't know, maybe I'm just too classy for names as ridiculous or as stupid as those two, but I'm pretty sure I'm not up as high as any celebrity, which brings me to my next point of irritation: What the hell is wrong with these people??? Who names their baby "Apple" (Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin) or "Coco" (Courteney Cox & David Arquette) or "Prince" (Micheal Jackson) or "Kal-El" (Nicholas Cage)? These are DOG names! And I'm pretty sure "Pilot Inspektor" (Jason Lee) doesn't count for a pet name let alone a human name. All that was changed was one letter! C'mon!!

Basically, I think that, for the most part, there should be people who come when a woman is having a baby and this person can either reject or accept the baby name. I'm all for newer, cuter, more popular names that are unisex and funky but it is not okay to name a child something that is actually a thing...or an STD. Some people shouldn't procreate and since we can't control that, we should at least be able to let their kids have a tease-free life.